The Quiet Horizon
by KDramaFever23
Summary: "How many heartbeats must I waste before I get to actually live my life?" Divorced Ana is on a journey to relive her dreams and does it include giving her ex-husband, Christian a second chance?


**So guys I am back and this is a new story of mine. No worries. I'll still update Let Her Go. Sorry so much. School is killing me. So enjoy my story . . . **

Chapter 1: MESSAGE

Sweat poured down the sides of my face as I jogged along the shore of the beach. This is what I do everyday. Before the sun rises, I get out of the house and just do my daily running. I need not to worry for my daughter. My mother is with her and I'm sure no harm will happen.

After I jog, I come back to the house and take a shower. My mother cooks breakfast and me and my daughter will take a ride together. It's pretty much the same. There's no thrill anymore. There's no excitement. How I miss those days when I wonder how my future will be. I've always dreamed of being a successful journalist and a loving wife to my husband. I sighed. How did I end up like this?

This was far from the dream I had for myself. I ended up as a teacher. I have nothing against that job but it is far from what I wanted. Somehow they rejected all my articles and I just can't find time to be a competitive writer because I'm all focused on my daughter. Next up was that I am a divorcee. Me and my husband just drifted away. He wasn't around all the time because of he was on the journey for his band to be known and whenever he was around, we just ended up fighting. It wasn't working out. I asked for divorce.

He was reluctant at first but after thinking of us and how we were, he signed the papers. I still cried even though I knew I was the one who asked for it. But the painful thought is that he gave me up.

The water bottle emptied after I jogged. The house was quiet than ever and my daughter was silently eating breakfast. She smiled as she saw me. "Hey little lady, you ready for school today?"

"Yes Mama" Her naturally squeaky voice answered. She looked so much like her father. The memories haunt me when I lay my eyes on her face. At five, she didn't seem so energetic. Unlike other children, she sat down the corner and just read a book.

Speaking of that, she informed, "Mama, I finished readin' Cinderella."

"Oh right, don't worry. I'll go to the bookstore later and buy you another book." She smiled. My eyes went to my mother. We greeted each other a happy morning before I went to the shower. Afterwards, I put on my uniform and pull my hair up to a bun. I stared at myself in the mirror and grimaced.

How did I look like this?

My blue eyes used to have glow inside and my flowy dark brown hair should be cascading down my shoulders. I looked dead. I looked like there's no point in living anymore. My eyes fell to the ground as I realized I was degrading myself. I tried to stop it but I just can't.

The dining room was silent again as I entered. With mom, everything was quiet. She just loved serenity and for some reason, I didn't. Sometimes silence meant realizing that you are alone and that nobody in this world understands you. I sat across my daughter and began to eat the strips of bacon.

"How's the book, Gracie?" I asked my daughter.

Her gray eyes found mine and answered, "I love the mice"

"Yes, she has pretty great friends, eh?"

My mother joined the conversation, "Anastasia, when you were young, you loved that story too. Oh! It makes me recall of the moments we had when we you were just Gracie's age." I smiled at her. I had a magical childhood. My father and mother loved each other so much and my older brother was so protective of me.

"No wonder Gracie loves the story too."

We ate silently after I replied. I wanted Gracie to read those simple twelve paged story books. She loved looking at the pictures and it also enhanced her vocabulary. One day she would learn to read a novel. Then, she'll get to know the non Disney version of the story. It will gross her out especially the part when the stepsister cuts her heel to make the shoe fit. One day she'll realize that life isn't a fairytale.

Minutes after silence, she said, "Mama, when can I see Daddy again?"

"Next week" I answered monotonously. She only sees her father once a month. His band got so famous that he had no control on his time.

"I miss him" She expressed and I said nothing. I didn't even know what to feel. Should I feel bad about his absence or should I be happy about it? He calls whenever he can but ninety percent to Gracie. He tried to have small talks with me but it was just too awkward. We didn't even know what to say to each other.

Sometimes I just wish I won't see him once a month but it's unfair to Gracie.

Gracie and I bid farewell to mother before we went inside my Toyota. The ride was too indescribable for me. I just drove on a road and knew where I was going. My destination was the place where I taught the sleepy teenagers English grammar and when I exit that area, they laugh about me. None of those laughters made me feel like humorous woman.

"Mama, Daddy said he loves me but why isn't he here?"

"Well, we wouldn't have a nice house and this car if he doesn't work." I spend the money he sends for Gracie's benefit but when it comes to me, I never took it. He was insistent but my pride can't lower down to his request.

"He tells me he loves me but he works so far." She pouted.

"Well, you still see him on tv and in magazine stands."

She just nodded and it made my heart clench. Sometimes I wish I never married Christian. I wish I married a stable husband who was always around. Gracie would still be herself but with a different face and personality. I strongly believed that Gracie's personality was partly an effect of Christian's absence.

"Kid, why don't you make friends? My friend's daughter is your classmate, right?"

She nodded and said, "I'll try".

The car stopped in front of her kindergarten school and we greeted her teacher, Miss Garner. She's a kind African-American who was always worried about Gracie. She continued to make effort for Gracie's social life to flourish but it just doesn't work out.

"Have a nice day, Miss Garner."

"Likewise, Ms. Steele"

I planted a soft kiss on my daughter's forehead before I headed back to my car. I drove all the way to St. John Washington Catholic School and took a deep breath. I used to be Mrs. Grey but life happened. We've been divorced for two long years and I still thought of him. Why? Can't my mind just focus on other things instead?

The day went on as usual. I taught about the subject verb agreement and only a few were engaged with the topic. I had lunch with my co-workers and I taught the same topic again in the afternoon. My life was just like a tape; rewinded and rewinded and rewinded in a figure eight.

I picked my daughter up in the afternoon after I bought two storybooks from the bookstore; _The Frog Prince_ and _Sleeping Beauty_. I did some paperwork while watching a rerun of 'Homeland'. My mother sewed a new dress for my daughter who was reading the storybooks I bought. She just stared mostly at the images. A few hours later, she yawned and I tucked her in bed. I helped her pronounce the new words she learned and she found herself in the embrace of slumber.

When I went downstairs, my mother changed the channel to 'Lifestyle' and I just picked the papers up and arranged them back to the envelope. I prepared a hot glass of milk and found myself sitting on the front porch.

The night seemed quite serene and it bugged me. It reminded me of solitude. I closed my eyes and listened carefully. The crickets provided noise and the television inside seem to accompany me in the comfortable darkness. I drank my milk and heard the tv being turned off. Later, my mother sat with me.

"Christian has a commercial now."

"Really?" I sounded so uninterested.

"Well, it's for an anti-dandruff shampoo. No worries, Ana, he doesn't really look great in that thirty second video." I smiled at her comment but doubt filled my mind. Christian never looked bad. The truth was that his messy copper hair never failed him and his whirlwind gray eyes never cease to captivate souls. I thought it was also a bonus that his voice sounded so husky and that he could play three instruments and reach high notes. I bet he was having a good time with pretty models all the time.

My mother took a hold of my hand and said, "Ana, it's been two years. Why don't you try dating? Why don't you explore life? Didn't you want to be a journalist?"

I breathed. "Mom, I'd really like to date if someone just asks me out but really? Who wants to date a twenty seven year old single mother? Then, being a journalist means exploring the world. The thing is Gracie's father isn't always around. I think I shouldn't do the same."

She nodded and said, "Ana, I understand. Gracie's. . . well, she's got problems and you're right. You not being around would deteriorate her already introverted personality."

"I don't know what to do with her." I expressed my disappointment to myself. Was it because I wasn't a good mother?

My mother replied in a smooth voice, "I never said this before but I regret letting you marry Christian. I mean I know you were in love. I just loved the way you developed together in high school. I just thought that kind of love you had will get you through hardships even though you got married at twenty one."

"Well, I don't know what to say about that." I didn't realize I was crying until the two thumbs of my mother brushed the liquid away from my face. I put the empty glass of milk on the last step of the stairs and just rested my head on my mother's shoulder. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed my forehead.

"I am so bad at everything, Mom. When I write, people say it's shallow. When I plan, it doesn't come to life. I thought I was a good wife but I ended up husbandless. Now, I even suck at being a mother." I cried out she shushed me. Her sooting palms ran all over my palms.

"You are a great writer, Ana; people are just superficial. Maybe your plans don't come true because God has other plans for you. I've seen you and you were a great wife. Your husband just made mistakes and it wasn't worth it for you to think bad about yourself. Most importantly, I see you now and Gracie is so lucky to have you."

Her words were comforting. The things she said silenced my sobs. I closed my eyes and wiped my tears away. I smiled at her and she exclaimed, "See! You just look so pretty when you smile!" I giggled a little bit and felt the temperature getting lower.

"Mom, it's getting cold. Let's sleep."

She nodded and I picked the glass up and went inside. She tucked me in bed the same way I did to Gracie. She kissed me goodnight before I fell into a dreamless sleep.

Three days followed after and it was pretty much the same. Jog, bath, go to work, lunch, buy something that was needed, pick Gracie up, prepare for tomorrow's lesson, talk to mother and sleep. Well, at least my students were kind. They observed such proper decorum. I know it was only because of the long quiz but still, I appreciate the way they worked hard because of something that I prepared.

Something also made me smile. After she read _The Frog Prince_, Gracie searched for frogs in our lawn. After she caught one, she attempted to kiss it and I hurriedly stopped her. To suppress the sadness she was about to feel, I turned on the hose and made her wet. She jumped as the water sprinkled down to her little form. We chased around the lawn and I realized my mother was right. I am not a bad mother. Gracie wouldn't laugh like this if I was a bad one.

Three days after, Gracie was reading _The Frog Prince _again in her room and my mother volunteered to go to the grocery. I slept on the couch after checking the long quiz papers of my students. Two hours later, I lazily stood up to drink a glass of water. I checked the phone and there was a voice-mail.

"_Hey Ana, it's me, Christian. Good news! I am going to have a two week vacation. I am so happy to spend time with you and Allison. Well, uh . . . That's it. Haha. Uh . . . Bye Ana and see you this Saturday."_

I spit the water and coughed a little. My eyes widened. He'll be here two days away and he'll stay for two weeks? Oh please, let me survive half a month with my ex-husband.

**Any thoughts? Please feel free to share. Just wait this week. I will update Let Her Go. Thank you guys and please please tell me. **


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